Best postpartum recovery tips for new moms
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Postpartum recovery is a very delicate period in every mom’s journey. It doesn’t matter if you had a C-section or a vaginal birth, postpartum will come nonetheless. Of course, this period is different for every woman and it depends on several factors like the help that the mom gets from family members, the pain that she is experiencing or her overall mental health.
I read many articles regarding postpartum that helped me understand the changes that my body was going through. I knew what items to buy in order to help with the pain and the general discomforts. However, postpartum isn’t only about recovery of the body, it’s also about the mind. Sadly, I find that most people (other mothers included) skip or avoid speaking the truth about all the emotional turmoil that will follow after giving birth. Maybe it’s hard to believe, but being honest and vulnerable with one another it’s very rare between moms. Truth be told, maybe these were only my expectations, but I was disappointed by this aspect.
This is not an article about what pads or bras you should use. There are a lot of articles about that on the internet. This is a personal story, this is me, a new mom sharing her journey. For me, postpartum was a very difficult time in my journey to motherhood.
If you are a mom or will become one, this article is for you. Here I’m sharing all the things (small or big) that helped me make the postpartum period easier.
Sleep when the baby sleeps
I think that this is the number one tip in postpartum recovery. I’m sure you already heard this popular saying “sleep when the baby sleeps”. Well, it doesn’t matter if you did, or didn’t get this advice, you should take it to heart!
Especially in the first 3 months (that is considered the fourth semester) the baby will sleep a lot (hopefully) and he will need a lot of skin to skin contact. You should take advantage of this and sleep with your baby every time you have the occasion. The nights are going to be hard, because the baby will need frequent feedings, so you are going to need a lot of rest to deal with everything.
If the baby sleeps better on you, don’t worry, it is perfectly normal and it will pass. Just make sure you and your baby are in a safe environment, like in the middle of the bed, or close to a wall, with a lot of pillows around.
In the beginning, I struggled a lot in this period, because I was frustrated, I wanted to do a lot of things and felt useless. But I understood that in those first months sleep is a priority for me and the baby and I should take advantage of it. If I ever decide to have a second child, I will take even more advantage of this period and sleep with every occasion.
I don’t know if you can relate with this, but I think that new moms go into motherhood with all these misconceptions inherited from family or friends that tell us where and how the baby needs to sleep and what you need to do about that. All I can tell you is that you should follow your intuition and your baby cues. If he wants to sleep on you or close to you, then just do it. Forget about the “dos and don’ts” and sleep tight mama!
Your house doesn’t need to be clean
Yeah, you heard me correctly. Focus on you and on your new baby. I know how it feels to have this pressure of doing it all, cleaning the house, making food, taking care of the baby and so on. Take this as a reminder that the postpartum period it’s about you and the baby. Your house doesn’t need to be clean, you can ask for help with your partner, mother or maybe a friend. They can juggle between making food and taking care of your house.
Release this pressure, focus on your postpartum recovery, rest as much as you can and spend time with your baby. Skin to skin contact with your baby is very important and this should be your only priority. Believe me, this time is unique and it will pass and when it does, you will have time to cook and clean and take care of your house.
Go on walks
I know that after you give birth and are still in recovery, going on walks may seem impossible. Staying in bed or on the couch is cozy and comfortable, but try to make a small effort and go on a short walk a few times a week. Walks are wonderful for the baby, but moving your body and breathing some fresh air can speed up your recovery (especially mentally). It’s going to give you a much needed energy boost. After you go on your first walk you are going to feel so much better. I still remember the first time I left my house after giving birth. I was wearing my old jeans for the first time in months and it felt so good and familiar.
During postpartum recovery you may feel disconnected from the world and your body. It’s easy to be isolated in your little cocoon and avoiding wearing clothes other than pajamas seems comfortable. This is why going on walks is so refreshing, because after going outside you are going to feel like your normal self. Sometimes just changing your clothes can make a difference. Remember it’s important to take baby steps.
Talk with someone
Postpartum recovery may come with a lot of challenges, the hardest one being depression. While your body is trying to heal, your mind is going through a lot as well. Postpartum depression can be really hard to go through and even if I don’t think that there is a secret cure for it, I know that talking about it can be really helpful.
Maybe I will write a separate article discussing this topic that many consider taboo, but I want to point something important here. Talking about it is the first step, and I know it is hard to open up, but before you do it, be selective with the people you are sharing your thoughts with. Even if you have friends that have kids that doesn’t mean that they will understand you. There are mothers that deny the existence of postpartum depression (even if they went through it) and judge other women for feeling it or speaking about it. Talking with the wrong people can be harmful for your mental health, so I strongly advise you to be careful. If you find a safe person or a genuine group then you can open your heart and talk about all those awful feelings that cloud your mind and soul. You will see that discussing this hard subject with the right people can feel liberating.
For me, my husband and a few girlfriends were my trusted support group and speaking with them about my feelings was helpful in my postpartum recovery. Especially my husband, he spent time trying to understand what I was feeling and that made me feel seen. Even if your loved ones can’t cure you (that’s your part), being understood and not judged is a very important step in accepting your dark thoughts.
Do something small just for you every day
A little goes a long way. This is a popular saying, I know, but it’s very true in postpartum recovery as well. Try to find something to do for you every single day. Even if it’s a small thing, because we as moms know that after having a baby going to the bathroom can be a struggle. And this notion of doing something for ourselves seems impossible, but hear me out. In this category you can include things like drinking a coffee (or half of it), washing your face or watching a YouTube clip.
Furthermore I want to share with you the things that help me out during my postpartum recovery.
- I tried to do a quick skin routine every morning and night: cleanse, apply a serum and a moisturizer. That’s it. I formed this very simple routine that doesn’t take me more than 5 minutes (brushing my teeth included). I leave the baby with my husband, before he starts his work and take these 5 minutes to myself. Taking care of my skin was always important for me, but I understood that I don’t have enough time to do a more complex routine, so I stuck to the most important steps. You can find the products that I’m using below (I highly recommend them. All of them are easy to use and give the best results).
- Another routine that gives me a boost of energy and that cozy morning feeling is drinking my coffee (yes, I’m a coffee addict). After a tough night a hot cup of a foamy delicious coffee always enhanced my determination for the following day. Even if I didn’t have time to drink it all, just a few mouthfuls could do the trick. As I said, a little goes a long way.
- In the first 3 months, your baby will (probably) sleep a lot. My baby rarely sleeps in this bed during the day, because he prefers to sleep on me. I took advantage of that time to get some reading on (when I didn’t feel like sleeping myself). I read books, articles and learn stuff about blogging or researching ideas for my blog.
I don’t know your situation, but if you look closely at your daily routines (or let’s call it as it is: your daily chaos) maybe you can find the smallest thing that will put a smile on your face, or will boost your confidence and energy. It’s going to help you a lot during your postpartum recovery.
When you have hard days and sleepless nights, a few moments dedicated to yourself can be vital points. Remember, if you take care of yourself first, you are going to give your baby the best version of yourself, which is the ultimate goal of motherhood.
Self care is important
During postpartum recovery our mind and body is trying to get back to “normal”. Any form of self care can improve your mood significantly. I remember that even after I washed my teeth in the morning I felt so put together and empowered.
Literally, in the first weeks after having a baby, while you try to adjust to your new life, brushing your teeth or washing your face seems impossible to do in some days. Try to do a quick morning or night routine and wash your face, put a cream on or take a shower. Another useful thing is to stretch your body (at this time, planning for complex workouts sounds crazy to me). Every small thing you do matters and I guarantee that it will make you feel better.
Don’t rush your postpartum recovery
This is an important one in postpartum recovery. Don’t obsess about getting your body back faster. Remember your body grew a little human and it went through 9 months of intense transformations. So please don’t pressure yourself into getting back in shape really quick. It’s not going to go so well for your mental health as well.
I know that social media is showing you these glamorous photos of moms that look so perfect (with abs and with very toned bodies) after a few weeks after giving birth. I’m not saying that these photos lie (maybe some do, so don’t believe everything you see), but you don’t know the circumstances.
Every body is different and it will respond in its unique way after pregnancy. Be kind and patient with yourself, focus on spending quality time with your new family, take care of your mind and take every day at a time.
Remember postpartum recovery doesn’t have an established deadline
Nobody can tell you how to recover, or how long your postpartum will last. Thinking about it, people can tell you lots of things, because apparently most of us have an opinion about everything these days (rolling my eyes), but you shouldn’t let them convince you of how your postpartum should be. Take your time and recover at your own pace. This is your time and your baby’s, take it slow and instead of thinking about recovery, try to be present as much as you can.
Don’t compare your journey
Every woman is different and there are a lot of factors that can speed up or slow down your postpartum recovery, like the difficulty of birth or pregnancy, your genetics, how much time you have to yourself (this depends on your baby or if you have additional help). Don’t have expectations, don’t set goals and don’t put pressure on yourself to get back to the gym or start eating super healthy right away.
Especially if you are suffering from postpartum depression, it is important to take each day as it is, give yourself some grace, sleep and do things that make you feel good. Sooner or later you are going to feel like your old self again. I know this is especially hard to do when you see around you or on social media other moms who make it look like it’s so easy and effortless. As I said, don’t believe everything that you see or hear. Even if for some women this journey it’s easier, remember you don’t know the whole picture. And instead of looking around you and comparing yourself, look inside your new family and focus on the unique moments you spend with them. Your journey is yours and it is special and you are going to live these moments with your baby only once.
I will share my experience with you in the hope that it will help you in some ways. After giving birth, in addition to postpartum recovery, I suffered from depression as well. It was devastating and hard and it felt like all the pain would stay with me forever. But, after 4 months of struggles I started slowly, but surely to feel normal, to feel empowered and happy again. I looked around and saw that other moms seemed to go through postpartum depression without any heartache (or this is what I saw or wanted to see). I felt like a bad and broken mom. Nowadays, I feel courageous and proud of myself because I chose to be vulnerable and admit that my path was hard. I take pride in my hardship, because I know that my postpartum recovery played an important role in my development as a woman and mother. I hope you feel the same about yourself.
I really hope you find this article useful. Let me know if you would add other things to this list. I would love to update it with new ideas.
As I mentioned, the first 6 months with my baby were a struggle and I know that there are other moms out there that went through a similar experience. This is why I wrote an article with all the things that I learned from my journey as a new mom. You can check it out here. Spoiler alert: it’s honest, raw and personal.